Skip to main content

No One Likes A Bad Gyro

Typically, yes, Scott and I are the picture of marital bliss. It's just our lot in life, to be perfectly happy and always on the same page.

Okay, maybe I'm stretching it a bit. We're usually pretty swell with one another, and for that I am extremely grateful. Yet sometimes, certain things can ruin our happy little Adams Family (insert the TV theme here) thing we have going.

It's called bad food.

Last night, we made a pact to skip the roasted chicken dinner I planned and instead rush to the Laundromat to secure clean clothes before any crazy weather could stop us. Thus, we needed some convenient dinner choices.

We elected to phone in a carry out order from Plato's Diner, or "Shiny Diner" as we call it because of its chrome 50s exterior, right across the street from Laundry World, our illustrious home away from home. (Ok, not really. It's cheap, close by, and no one causes trouble. It works for two people who have their perfectly wonderful, nearly-new, awesomely efficient Fisher & Paykel washer and dryer currently collecting dust in storage. That doesn't pain us one single bit. Can't you tell?)

Ubiquitous Gyro poster we've all seen before

So, goodbye Spatchcocked chicken dinner, hello Greek take out. Plato's served us well in the past, with a decent Greek salad platter and very tasty and generous breakfast options. But alas, our luck with Shiny Diner ran plumb out.

The first sign something was amiss was when I stopped  noshing agreeably enough on my semi-rubbery lamb gyro and noticed Scott sitting next to me in the plastic laundry chair, holding his chicken souvlaki pita wrap dejectedly. When Scott's not eating his food, something's wrong.

"Is it not good?", I asked while inhaling bits of pita slathered with tzatziki sauce. "Hmmm," Scott replied. "Hmmm" is never good.

"It's dry. Is there extra tzatziki?" Scott asked.

I fumbled through the plastic bag. Of course, there was not extra tzatziki. We had several salt and pepper packets and some ketchup too, but alas, no extra tzatziki.

Sometimes, I will lovingly volunteer to switch my meal with Scott, sacrificing it all for the sake of improving my husband's disposition. But last night was not one of those times.

I continued on with my lamb gyro, which was heavy on the onions and not that great, but hell, I was in Laundry World at 7pm on a Monday night, intermittently watching a telenovela. What more could I possibly want?

Scott finished about half of his meal and looked over at me. "Can I have a bite of yours?" he finally asked.

What could I do? The man was severely disappointed in his meal. I wasn't about to deny him my mediocre gyro.

I passed my Styrofoam box over to him and he took a big bite, grimacing. "It's too oniony." He proceeded to hem and haw, sighing deeply, and generally acting like all was lost and this life was not a bowl of cherries.

I tossed our take out boxes into the trash with great ceremony, bashing them down next to empty Downy bottles and old dryer sheets. The telenovela played on, while we had our own little melodramatic moment.
Scott slouched in the uncomfortable plastic chair, with a scowl on his face. I silently read my copy of Lady Chatterley's Lover, which is a pretty scandalous read for laundry environs.

Sometimes, you just eat bad food. You live, you learn.

So long, Shiny Diner.

Comments

  1. Sitting in the laundromat is bad enough....add bad food...equals a crappy evening all around.
    I feel for yah'
    L

    ReplyDelete
  2. When I first read this blog title, I thought it said "No One Likes a Bad GYNO."

    Big difference. LOL!

    No one likes a bad gyno or bad food. Sorry your meal was a bust. When that happens to us, we always say "Well, now we know." It's somewhat comforting.

    I just hope we never have to say that in reference to my ob-gyn! Ha!
    -Beth

    ReplyDelete
  3. HA! No, but that's a very true statement.

    Will do my best to repent this week with GOOD food. Sometimes you can't help but strike out.

    ReplyDelete
  4. sorry about the crappy food. however - I think this was your funniest post yet... thanks for sharing!

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Best Way to Keep Cannoli Fresh and Other Baltimore Stories

My mom and step-dad were up visiting for Thanksgiving and after gorging ourselves on turkey and the sites of D.C., I took them on a day-trip to Baltimore.

After a visit to my mom's favorite museum (she's a mosaic artist), we aimed for lunch at Rocket to Venus in Hampden. It was closed for lunch, but our trip up Charles St. wasn't for naught - we stumbled onto residents of 34th St. setting up their Christmas displays! This street is Christmas at its best, or worst, depending on your tolerance/interest in all things Christmas. Erin teases me for being a scrooge, but I have to admit, lights and what-not are nice at this cold and dark time of year.

After a brief walk through Hampden, we aimed for lunch at Kooper's Tavern in Fells Point. The tavern was most certainly open, with rowdy sports fans packing the bar and even spilling onto the sidewalk for fresh-shucked oysters. (My friend Gideon would have camped out right there for their Chincoteagues!) After some deliberati…

Adventures in Gardening

We're back with another edition of "Hey, we used to be bloggers." I am not so sure who reads blogs much anymore (hi Moms!) but hell, if e-newsletters are in again and the '90s "flatform" shoe is making a comeback, maybe we have a shot.

As I nurse a gin and tonic made of nothing but the finest (here's to you, cheap Chek tonic cans from the Mount Pleasant, SC Bi-Lo - sometimes you just buy things to get the job done, especially when you're en route to Vacation Weekend after a slight detour to fix a flat tire on I-26...), I'm mulling over what's happening so far in our garden plots. 
We went Tomato Crazy this year, planting 6+ mixed varieties in our raised beds that kinda-sorta get sufficient sunlight in our backyard, and 8 seedlings in one of our two Winterfield Community Garden plots. Hopefully we'll soon pick beautiful Red Delicious, San Marzano, Black Krim, Blue Gold Cherry, Brandywine, and a few "mystery" tomatoes, and I can …

Tea Time

Fall finally decided to show up here in Charlotte, NC this week.

Hoodies and sweaters were pulled out of closets, socks and slippers donned for the first time in months, and denim could be worn comfortably.

Oh denim. I've never understood people who wear jeans in Southern humidity. They're like sweaty straightjackets for your legs and torso. Skin was meant to breathe, y'all.

So with a chill in the air, one must make certain adjustments in all areas of life, from the closet to the kitchen. Gin & tonics are replaced with red wine. We buy apples and dried fruit for cereal instead of berries. And I trade daily cold drinks of seltzer for my favorite comfort of the cooler seasons - tea.

Scott & I share an affinity for tea, and we have our rituals. "Tea and Books and Bed" is a totally innocent affair that involves piling up with reading material and decaffeinated brews. You do have to watch Scott with tea - one drowsy moment can result in a messy spill, turning …