Skip to main content

Bite Me, Little Debbie

It's amazing what you can find on these crazy Interwebs. Exhibit A:

Yep, Little Debbie tries and tries to wear me down with her promise of cheap, sweet thrills but somehow I've managed to stay away from a box of Oatmeal Cream Pies in my own home for over a week now.*

Scott's responsible for this devil woman's merchandise taking up space in my pantry. He has a bit of a sweet tooth for foods that aren't really, well, food. Looking at the box of OCPs, here's the ingredients:

Corn Syrup, Enriched Bleached Flour (Wheat Flour, Niacin, Reduced Iron, Thiamine Mononitrate [Vitamin B1] Riboflavin [Vitamin B2] (Folic Acid)Partially Hydrogenated Soybean and Cottonseed Oil with TBHQ to Preserve Flavor, Dextrose, Water, Oats, Sugar, Molasses, Raisins, contains 2% or less of each of the Following: Leavening (Baking Soda, Sodium Aluminum Phosphate, Ammonium Bicarbonate) Whey [Milk] Emulsifiers (Soy Lecithin, Mono and Diglycerides, Sorbitan Monostearate, Polysorbate 60)Salt, Cornstarch, Natural and Artificial Flavors, Eggs, Interesterfied Palm and Palm Kernel Oils, Soybean Oil, Sorbic Acid (To Retain Freshness) Cocoa, Colors (Caramel Color, Titanium Dioxide, Red 40, Beta Carotene, Turmeric, Annatto Extract, Yellow 5) Egg Whites, Citric Acid, Pectin, Sodium Citrate, Coconut (Sulfite Treated to Preserve Color) Evaporated Apples (Sulfite Treated to Preserve Color) Nonfat Dry Milk, Carrageenan, Spices, Rice Flour.

For example, the tasty-sounding Sorbitan Monostearate isn't just for OCPs, but also used to make synthetic fibers, metal machining fluid, and brighteners in the leather industry. Added bonus: it's an emulsifier in coatings, pesticides, and in the plastics, food and cosmetics industries.

Um, YUM.

So...I think this fact supports my decision to lay off the Little Debbie OCPs and her evil Star Crunch, Banana Twins, Zebra Cakes, Swiss Cake Rolls, Fudge Rounds, Nutty Bars, and her seasonal Christmas Tree Snack Cakes, just to name a nasty few. You may have had me at age 7, Debbie Girl, but you won't con me anymore!

P.S. - We mixed it up here tonight and tried out a new template. What sayeth you, oh friends of HTT? Dig it? Hate it? Let us know!

*Tangent/footnote - Although we did dance at our wedding to Southern Culture on the Skids' "Camel Walk," which is an ode to all sorts of snacks and fine foods like Little Debbie OCPs and the Lance company's Captains Wafers crackers. It is one bad ass song. You have to see a SCOTs show for once in your life, as any band that throws out fried chicken to the audience is top-freaking-notch.


  1. You'd be amazed how much of that is derived from the disturbing overabundance of low grade corn we have in this country.

    (Side note: word verification for today is "prommies"; this should be added to the dictionary to describe mothers who are over-involved in planning, running (or ruining), and chaperoning their children's prom and other school events, much to the child's dismay and horror.

  2. Yep, you're very right about the corn subsidies. Watching all the plethora of food documentaries in the past couple of years (King Corn comes to mind as a big one), I know our nation of fatties can thank cheap excess corn.

    Also, I want to know who you are and how you manage to write such witty remarks about the Blogger word verification process. Love them!

  3. Not sure about the new layout... I was def. confused at first, but I'll probably get used to it.

    P.S. Eff you Little Debbie!!


Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Friends with Benefits: Meet EV Originals

I love that feeling when a friend accomplishes something wonderful.

Maybe because I'm a only child and thus friends often feel like family, or maybe it's just because we all need a little more raising up these days.

So when I heard that a friend from the Nashville, TN area who co-founded and operates a catering business decided to share her culinary talents with the masses and create a line of bottled products, EV Originals, I did a big ol' happy dance.

Some Like It Hot -- And Toasted on Both Sides

The latest news in appliances seems to indicate there's no love for the good ol' traditional Crock-Pot.
Fictional drama aside, the slow cooker most of us grew up with is receiving some healthy competition from the new hot thing, the Instapot
But in our house, we're having a face-off with a completely different category of kitchen appliances -- it's the Toaster vs Toaster Oven.

The Best Way to Keep Cannoli Fresh and Other Baltimore Stories

My mom and step-dad were up visiting for Thanksgiving and after gorging ourselves on turkey and the sites of D.C., I took them on a day-trip to Baltimore.

After a visit to my mom's favorite museum (she's a mosaic artist), we aimed for lunch at Rocket to Venus in Hampden. It was closed for lunch, but our trip up Charles St. wasn't for naught - we stumbled onto residents of 34th St. setting up their Christmas displays! This street is Christmas at its best, or worst, depending on your tolerance/interest in all things Christmas. Erin teases me for being a scrooge, but I have to admit, lights and what-not are nice at this cold and dark time of year.

After a brief walk through Hampden, we aimed for lunch at Kooper's Tavern in Fells Point. The tavern was most certainly open, with rowdy sports fans packing the bar and even spilling onto the sidewalk for fresh-shucked oysters. (My friend Gideon would have camped out right there for their Chincoteagues!) After some deliberati…