Bite Me, Little Debbie
Yep, Little Debbie tries and tries to wear me down with her promise of cheap, sweet thrills but somehow I've managed to stay away from a box of Oatmeal Cream Pies in my own home for over a week now.*
Scott's responsible for this devil woman's merchandise taking up space in my pantry. He has a bit of a sweet tooth for foods that aren't really, well, food. Looking at the box of OCPs, here's the ingredients:
Corn Syrup, Enriched Bleached Flour (Wheat Flour, Niacin, Reduced Iron, Thiamine Mononitrate [Vitamin B1] Riboflavin [Vitamin B2] (Folic Acid)Partially Hydrogenated Soybean and Cottonseed Oil with TBHQ to Preserve Flavor, Dextrose, Water, Oats, Sugar, Molasses, Raisins, contains 2% or less of each of the Following: Leavening (Baking Soda, Sodium Aluminum Phosphate, Ammonium Bicarbonate) Whey [Milk] Emulsifiers (Soy Lecithin, Mono and Diglycerides, Sorbitan Monostearate, Polysorbate 60)Salt, Cornstarch, Natural and Artificial Flavors, Eggs, Interesterfied Palm and Palm Kernel Oils, Soybean Oil, Sorbic Acid (To Retain Freshness) Cocoa, Colors (Caramel Color, Titanium Dioxide, Red 40, Beta Carotene, Turmeric, Annatto Extract, Yellow 5) Egg Whites, Citric Acid, Pectin, Sodium Citrate, Coconut (Sulfite Treated to Preserve Color) Evaporated Apples (Sulfite Treated to Preserve Color) Nonfat Dry Milk, Carrageenan, Spices, Rice Flour.
For example, the tasty-sounding Sorbitan Monostearate isn't just for OCPs, but also used to make synthetic fibers, metal machining fluid, and brighteners in the leather industry. Added bonus: it's an emulsifier in coatings, pesticides, and in the plastics, food and cosmetics industries.
So...I think this fact supports my decision to lay off the Little Debbie OCPs and her evil Star Crunch, Banana Twins, Zebra Cakes, Swiss Cake Rolls, Fudge Rounds, Nutty Bars, and her seasonal Christmas Tree Snack Cakes, just to name a nasty few. You may have had me at age 7, Debbie Girl, but you won't con me anymore!
P.S. - We mixed it up here tonight and tried out a new template. What sayeth you, oh friends of HTT? Dig it? Hate it? Let us know!
*Tangent/footnote - Although we did dance at our wedding to Southern Culture on the Skids' "Camel Walk," which is an ode to all sorts of snacks and fine foods like Little Debbie OCPs and the Lance company's Captains Wafers crackers. It is one bad ass song. You have to see a SCOTs show for once in your life, as any band that throws out fried chicken to the audience is top-freaking-notch.