Label Whores Are We
Yeah, I know it's not healthy and some people tend to hate on this condiment, but seriously, mayonnaise is a good thing, Martha. It adds so much flavor and moisture and creamy delight to so many foods. And as much as I'd love to think I am a "from scratch" kind of gal, I am not about to crack up some eggs and whip up a batch of homemade mayo any time soon, especially with that salmonella scariness going around.
If I'm going to revel in the full-fat, high calorie content that is mayo, I might as well use the GOOD stuff - no crappy Miracle Whip (which is not even really mayonnaise, let's get that straight right now) or ho-hum Hellman's. I mean to tell you, y'all, Duke's Mayonnaise is the best.
Moving to Maryland, as challenging as it is already, rendered me absolutely stupefied upon my first grocery store trip here when I realized I was living in the Land of the Lost - no Duke's mayo could be found. (Apparently I wasn't looking in the right places - I have to admit a friend told me it can be found at Shoppers, which is not a convenient drive from our place but whatevs.)
Now the fellow grocery store patrons here aren't very pleasant, the cashiers won't smile at you no matter what, and trying to navigate a cart around people who are hardly courteous (nor safe) drivers in the store parking lot - this is enough to make me bonkers when I go to Giant in our neighborhood. But you take away my Duke's and we may have a rumble on our hands.
Luckily, griping about the lack of Duke's on Facebook when you're trying to make pimento cheese --which is about as foreign of a food up here as you can get -- will make things happen. And by that I mean your cupboard will be presently filled with three huge-ass jars of Duke's mayonnaise. Friends heeded the call of fellows in distress and thanks to my friends E&J and Miss Victoria, Scott and I can now make all the pimento cheese, tomato sandwiches, and potato salad we want and still feel a connection to our fat-ass yet delicious Southern roots.
I don't know what it is about Duke's, but it's just special and amazing and I can't imagine a proper spread without it. Scott made cole slaw with it on Tuesday night and I wanted to cry it was so good.
So thanks, friends, for helping two Marylanders out. This mayo will be treated like rare currency up in these here parts. Bless ya.