Exhibit A: the Twizzlers Pull-n-Peel cherry liquorice candy I scarfed. Even after I abandoned the unopened package in our work break room, hoping someone would snag it so I wouldn't be temped to consume an unsightly amount of Red 40. Cause the only ways red food coloring is acceptable are 1) Easter egg dyeing and 2) Red Velvet Cake.
Twizzlers are produced in Hershey, Pa., where my mom and her two sisters visited during their annual fall "sister trip" this year. Many Hershey products were purchased for this holiday season, including the Hershey Hershettes (their version of M&Ms) and other ungodly food products. Sorry, Mom, but if the words "diet" and "my ass" are going to be affiliated, I can't have those Hershey delights. Yes, I know I loved the Twizzlers in eighth grade, circa 1993, but can we put that behind us now?
The point of all this is: why is this the season when, no matter how hard I try, I wind up stuffing my face full of things I don't even like? Where ARE you, Will Power?